Are you inadvertently pushing your partner away?
Are you wondering why your partner is acting cold towards you?
Does it look like your partner will be breaking up with you soon?
If you find yourself doing any of the following things, then stop it!
Believe it or not, if you don’t, then there might be a chance that your relationship will end up in a breakup.
Here’s a list of 13 ways you might be pushing your partner away:
Table of contents
- 1. You’re not listening to them
- 2. You always have to have the last word
- 3. You constantly put them down
- 4. You never take their feelings into account
- 5. You make all the decisions without consulting them
- 6. You’re never satisfied
- 7. You control them and their life
- 8. You always bring up the past
- 9. You don’t make time for them
- 10. You’re cheating on them
- 11. You’re not present
- 11. You’re always negative
- 12. You are money hungry
- 13. You find it difficult to say, “I’m sorry.”
- Bottom line:
1. You’re not listening to them
Let’s be honest:
We’ve all been guilty of this.
We get so wrapped up in our own lives that we forget to listen to what our partners are saying.
If you want your partner to feel heard and validated, then make sure you’re actually listening to them when they talk.
When we don’t listen, it makes our partners feel like we’re not interested in them or their lives.
This can be a major turnoff and lead to a breakup.
If you find yourself constantly interrupting your partner, then make an effort to stop it.
Try to actually listen to what they have to say without thinking about how you’re going to respond.
It might feel like a huge struggle, but it’ll be worth it in the long run if you make this change.
As soon as your partner knows that you’re actually listening and interested in what they have to say, then their attitude towards you will improve drastically!
You can also try paraphrasing what they’ve just said to show that you were paying attention.
This will make them feel heard and validated, which is exactly what we want, right?
2. You always have to have the last word
Imagine for a moment that you and your partner are in the middle of a disagreement.
You’ve both said your piece, and now it’s time to listen.
However, instead of actually hearing what your partner has to say, you feel the need to jump in and one-up them.
You end up pushing your partner further away by denying their feelings or trying to “prove” why they are wrong about something.
It’s fine for you to explain how you’re feeling too, but make sure it doesn’t turn into a competition over who’s “right.”
Not only does this make your partner feel unheard, but it also puts them on the defense.
And you don’t want to do that!
You want your partner to be able to open up and communicate with you without feeling like they are being attacked or judged for what they have said.
You can even take this one step further by apologizing for anything you said that might have come across as aggressive.
By doing so, your partner will feel like they are heard and cared about instead of just being used to fight with or prove a point against them.
3. You constantly put them down
This is one of the worst ways you can push your partner away.
We’ve all done it at one point or another, but that doesn’t make it okay!
If anything, pushing someone down only makes them want to move further and further away from us.
This is especially true if we’re constantly putting our partners down in comparison to other people.
“You’re not as smart as her,” or “You could never do what he does,” are phrases that will only make your partner feel inadequate and unworthy.
Not only is this damaging to your relationships, but it can also be really harmful to your partners’ mental health.
If you really need to praise your partner, then do it!
But make sure that the compliments are genuine and don’t come across as backhanded or condescending in any way.
Praise them for their accomplishments instead of putting yours down by comparison.
This will not only boost their confidence levels, but it will make them feel appreciated and loved by you!
4. You never take their feelings into account
Ever wondered why your partner is always so distant?
It could be because you never take their feelings into account.
If you’re constantly disregarding what they have to say, it’s only natural for them to start pulling away.
Make an effort to listen to your partner and consider their thoughts and feelings.
This will show that you care about them and help to strengthen the relationship.
5. You make all the decisions without consulting them
Another thing that can make your partner feel like you don’t care about them is when you constantly plan things without consulting them.
It doesn’t matter how big or small the thing is, either—if they are always being excluded from decisions, then it will eventually start to wear on their patience levels.
So if you have something planned and your partner absolutely hates it, then let them have some say in what you do next!
It doesn’t matter if they want to go ice skating when you plan on going rollerblading.
What matters is that their feelings are heard and considered, which will strengthen the bond between both of you.
6. You’re never satisfied
Are you the person who is always needing more?
More attention, more time, more love?
Constantly needing to be stimulated, or you get bored?
If so, this can be a huge turnoff for your partner.
They will feel like they can’t do anything right and that they are constantly disappointing you.
Instead of always needing something from your partner, try to be grateful for what they do give you.
Appreciate them and the time you have together.
7. You control them and their life
The simple truth is that no one wants to feel like they are being controlled.
If you are constantly telling your partner what to do, how to act, and where to go, they will eventually start to resent you.
Let them live their own lives and make their own decisions.
If you can’t let go of the control, your relationship is doomed.
Remember, you are not their boss or their parent.
Your job as a partner is to love them as an equal, not to control them.
8. You always bring up the past
People who dwell on the past are not good at moving forward.
When you bring up an argument from a year ago, it’s going to put your partner in a bad place and make them feel like they can’t do anything right for you anymore.
It doesn’t matter if their action was deliberate or unintentional – bringing things up over and over again is toxic behavior.
If you’re having trouble forgiving your partner, try focusing on the good things they’ve done instead.
It’s not fair to keep punishing them for something that’s already in the past.
And if you can’t seem to forget about it, talk to a therapist – they can help you work through your issues.
9. You don’t make time for them
One way you may be pushing your partner away is by not making time for them.
If you’re always busy and don’t schedule a time to spend with your partner, they may feel neglected and unimportant.
Make sure to pencil in regular date nights or weekend getaways to keep the relationship strong.
10. You’re cheating on them
Let’s be real – cheating is never okay.
If you are being unfaithful, it will destroy the relationship and make your partner feel like they don’t matter anymore.
So if you’re tempted to cheat or have already cheated before, then stop now!
You need to end things with your significant other first, apologize for what you’ve done, and then work on rebuilding trust.
It won’t be easy, but it’s definitely worth it in the end.
11. You’re not present
Are you always checking your phone or working on something when you’re with your partner?
If so, they will start to feel like you don’t care about them anymore and that they are just a distraction rather than someone who matters to you.
Even if it’s really important or urgent, put your phone away!
Being present during the conversation will make both of you feel special and valued.
It may be difficult at first but try practicing this behavior every time you’re with your partner.
It will get easier, and soon you won’t be tempted to check your phone anymore!
11. You’re always negative
Let me say this straight: if you’re always negative, your partner will get tired of hearing it.
Negativity can be draining and depressing for both parties involved.
Instead of focusing on the negatives in life, try to find something positive about every situation that arises.
If nothing else, focus on staying optimistic and looking at the bright side because misery loves company.
Your partner deserves to be around someone who is positive and upbeat, not someone who is always negative and complaining.
If you can’t seem to change your ways, it may be time to end the relationship.
12. You are money hungry
Money is important.
However, it should not be the only factor that you base your decisions on.
If you are always trying to get more money from your partner or demanding they buy you expensive gifts, they will eventually start to feel taken advantage of.
It’s one thing to be ambitious and wants the best for yourself, but it’s another to be greedy.
This behavior will push your partner away and make them feel like you don’t value their presence in your life.
Money should not be the root of all evil – try to find other ways to solve your financial problems instead of relying on your partner.
13. You find it difficult to say, “I’m sorry.”
Anyone who cannot apologize will be single for a very long time.
We all make mistakes.
Nobody is perfect.
Saying I’m sorry proves that you love that you care enough about them.
It may be difficult at first, but saying “I’m sorry, please forgive me. I was wrong.” will help your partner feel like they matter to you again!
Stop doing the things that are pushing your partner away and start focusing on ways to improve your relationship.
Talk to them, listen to them, and be there for them.
Remember, your partner is not a mind reader – they need you to communicate with them in order to make things work.
If you’re guilty of any of these behaviors, then it’s time to change your ways!
Start by being more present and making your relationship a priority.
If you both work together as a team instead of against each other, then you can make any obstacle easier to overcome.
Also read: How to fix a broken relationship