When we think about narcissism, we usually picture someone who is openly full of themselves and acts like they’re better than everyone else. But there’s a more hidden kind of narcissism called high-functioning narcissism. Unlike the more obvious forms of a mental health condition called narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), high-functioning narcissists often hide their narcissistic traits behind a friendly and successful image. Still, their behavior can hurt the people around them.

Here are six signs someone might be a high-functioning narcissist.

They Seem Very Charming, but It Feels Fake

High-functioning narcissists are often really good at making people like them. They know how to hold interesting conversations and make others feel special. But their charm often has a purpose. They might use it to get attention, win people over, or get others to do what they want. At first, their charm might seem real, but over time, it can feel like they’re just putting on an act.

They Constantly Look for Praise and Approval

Even though they might seem confident, high-functioning narcissists need people to praise them all the time. They like showing off their achievements and might pretend to be modest while fishing for compliments. If they don’t get the attention they want, they could act annoyed or even ignore others. Their need for validation can make relationships feel one-sided.

They Pretend to Care but Lack Real Empathy

One big sign of narcissism is not caring about other people’s feelings. High-functioning narcissists can hide this by saying or doing things that look caring, but it’s often not genuine. For example, they might talk about being supportive, but when someone really needs help, they don’t show up. They tend to make conversations about themselves instead of listening.

They Are Extremely Competitive and Ambitious

High-functioning narcissists often aim high in their careers or personal goals. While working hard is a good thing, their drive can harm others. They might take credit for someone else’s work, manipulate situations to stay ahead or step on others to get what they want. Their success is usually about serving their own needs rather than working well with others.

They Have Trouble Building Deep Relationships

It’s hard for high-functioning narcissists to form real, close relationships. They might seem like they have lots of friends or partners, but these relationships often lack real connection. They avoid being vulnerable and focus more on their own needs than on the people they’re with. This leaves others feeling unimportant or used. Their relationships tend to be more about what they can get from others.

They Can’t Handle Criticism and Blame Others

High-functioning narcissists don’t take criticism well. Even if someone gives them helpful advice, they might act defensive or dismissive. Instead of owning up to mistakes, they’ll blame other people to protect their image. For example, if they mess up at work, they might say it’s because someone else didn’t explain things clearly. This behavior makes it hard to solve problems or hold them accountable.

The Bottom Line

High-functioning narcissists can be hard to spot because they often look like successful, charming people. But their constant need for praise, lack of real empathy, and difficulty forming deep relationships reveal who they really are. If you notice these signs in someone, it’s important to set boundaries to protect yourself. Talking to a counselor or psychologist can help you deal with the situation and take care of your emotional health.