12 Things You Should Never Tell Your Partner
Let’s face it: communication is the spine of any strong relationship. However, even in the closest of bonds, some things are better left unsaid. Now, you might be thinking, “Isn’t honesty the best policy?” Generally, yes, but there are certain phrases and topics that can do more harm than good. In this article, we’ll talk about 12 things you should steer clear of saying to your partner. Buckle up because some of these might surprise you!
1. “You’re Just Like Your Parent”
Oh, the temptation to say this during a heated argument is real, especially if you know your partner has a complicated relationship with their parents. But here’s the deal: Comparisons like this rarely end well. They can feel hurtful and dismissive and can shut down any constructive dialogue. Instead, focus on the behavior that bothers you, not where it might come from.
2. “Nothing, I’m Fine”
This one’s a classic, right? When your partner asks what’s wrong and you say, “Nothing, I’m fine,” while clearly being upset, it sends mixed signals. It shuts out your partner and blocks the opportunity for open communication. If something is bothering you, give it some thought, then share it. It’s the only way to work through issues together.
3. “You Always” or “You Never”
Absolutes like “always” and “never” are often exaggerations and can make your partner feel unfairly criticized. These statements can come across as blaming and can lead to defensiveness rather than solutions. Try to point out specific instances instead. It’s more constructive and less accusatory.
4. “I Wish I Had Never Met You”
In moments of frustration, you might think this, but saying it out loud can cause deep wounds in your relationship. This phrase can make your partner feel as though their presence in your life is a mistake. Remember, harsh words can be forgiven, but they’re often hard to forget.
5. “My Ex Would Never Do That”
Comparing your current partner to an ex is a huge no-no. It can make your partner feel like they’re in a competition with someone from your past, which is a battle they can never win. Keep the focus on the present relationship and the individual uniqueness of your partner.
6. “Just Leave It, I’ll Do It Myself”
This might slip out when you’re feeling impatient. However, it can make your partner feel inadequate or unappreciated. Instead, if you need something done a certain way, offer to do it together. It’s a chance to bond and learn from each other.
7. “You’re Overreacting”
Telling your partner they’re overreacting dismisses their feelings and can make them feel invalidated. Instead, try to understand why they feel the way they do. Phrases like “Help me understand why you feel this way” can open up a dialogue and show empathy.
8. “You’re Fat”
Straight to the point—this is a deeply hurtful thing to say and can severely damage your partner’s self-esteem and body image. If you’re concerned about their health, frame the conversation positively and discuss lifestyle changes that you can make together, focusing on health rather than appearance. Be supportive, not critical.
9. “I Don’t Care Anymore”
Even if you’re feeling overwhelmed or apathetic during an argument, saying this can come across as giving up on the relationship. Instead, take a break from the discussion until you can approach it with a clearer head.
10. “Why Can’t You Be More Like…”
Again, comparisons are dangerous. They erode your partner’s self-worth and can breed resentment. Appreciate your partner for who they are, not who you want them to be.
11. “If You Loved Me, You Would…”
This kind of emotional manipulation creates guilt and resentment. Love should not be used as leverage to get what you want. Speak openly about your needs without making them conditional on your partner’s affection.
12. “I Make All the Money, So I Make the Rules”
This statement can make your partner feel like they have less say in the relationship, which isn’t a good foundation for any partnership. Financial contributions should not dictate control or power dynamics in a relationship.
Conclusion
In any relationship, the goal is to build each other up, not tear each other down. These 12 phrases can undermine the trust and respect that are so crucial to a healthy partnership. By avoiding these pitfalls and communicating with kindness and clarity, you can cultivate a stronger, more loving relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q1: Is it ever okay to express negative feelings in a relationship?
Absolutely! It’s crucial to express your feelings, but it’s the approach you take that matters. Focus on expressing your emotions honestly and constructively, without blame or personal attacks.
Q2: How can I effectively communicate if I’m really angry?
Take a moment to cool down before you speak. This can help you organize your thoughts and express them in a way that’s constructive rather than hurtful.
Q3: What if I’ve already said something I regret?
Apologize sincerely and discuss how you can both move forward. Acknowledging your mistake and showing a willingness to improve can help heal the relationship.
