Narcissists use manipulation to control others. Knowing their tricks can help you protect yourself from getting hurt. Here are six common ways narcissists manipulate people.

Narcissists make you question what you know is true

This trick is called “gaslighting.” It means a narcissist tries to make you doubt your memory or feelings. They lie or say things never happened, even if you clearly remember them. They repeat their lies so often that you start wondering if you are wrong. Over time, you may feel confused and unsure, giving the narcissist more control over you.

Narcissists blame you for their mistakes

Narcissists don’t like to admit they’re wrong. Instead, they blame others, especially you. If they make a mistake, they say it’s your fault. For example, if they get angry, they’ll tell you that you made them mad. After a while, you might start believing you’re always the one who messes things up. This makes you feel bad about yourself and helps the narcissist avoid taking responsibility.

Narcissists pretend to be kind and charming

At first, narcissists act super nice, caring, and friendly. They give lots of compliments, gifts, and attention to win you over. You start believing they are amazing people. Once they know you trust them, they suddenly become mean or critical. Because you liked their kindness so much, you keep trying hard to win back their approval. This trick is called “love bombing,” and it makes you feel confused and worried about your worth.

Narcissists try to keep you away from your friends and family

Narcissists don’t want you to have support from others. They may say your friends or family aren’t good for you or claim they don’t really care about you. They might spread lies or gossip to turn you against people who love you. Over time, you see less of your friends and family and become more dependent on the narcissist. This isolation makes it harder for you to get help or advice from others.

Narcissists make you feel guilty or afraid

Narcissists often use guilt or fear to control you. They might threaten to hurt themselves, pretend to be extremely upset, or accuse you of not caring enough. This makes you feel guilty and responsible for their happiness. Eventually, you start doing everything they want, even if it’s bad for you, just to avoid conflict. This emotional blackmail slowly takes away your happiness and freedom.

Narcissists punish you by not talking

The silent treatment means ignoring someone on purpose. Narcissists use this trick when they want to punish or control you. If you disagree with them, they stop talking and act like you’re not there. This makes you feel worried, sad, and desperate to fix things. Even if you did nothing wrong, you might apologize just to end the silence. Narcissists know this hurts you deeply and use it often to keep control.

How to Protect Yourself from Narcissists

Set clear limits.

Tell the narcissist clearly what behavior you won’t accept. Stick to these rules even if they get upset. Having clear limits helps you feel safe.

Talk to someone you trust.

Talk often with friends, family, or a counselor. Getting support from people who care can help you feel stronger and less alone.

Trust your feelings.

If something feels wrong, it probably is. Trust yourself first, and don’t let a narcissist change what you believe or feel.

Learn about narcissists.

Learning more about narcissists and their behavior helps you recognize when someone is trying to control you. The more you understand, the better you can protect yourself.

Make a safety plan.

If you’re scared or unhappy, create a plan to leave the relationship safely. Talk with someone you trust or a professional who can help you get away safely.

Knowing these tricks can help you stay safe and protect your feelings. If a narcissist is making your life hard, get help from an adult you trust or a counselor right away. Your happiness and safety are very important.